Achievements and Creativity

This week I’ve been thinking about achievements and what they mean in the grand scheme of my life. Pretty deep, huh? *g* What started me thinking was the act of clicking the send button on my manuscript, ‘Dangerous Exposure’, which has now arrived in the inbox of an editor on the other side of the world. Amongst all the angst of, ‘What if she really, really likes it?’, or ‘What if she really, really hates it, and tells me to take up knitting?’, I finally found peace. It’s out of my hands now.

Whether the editor likes my work or hates it, there’s nothing more I can say or do. And I’m okay with it. Because I did what I set out to do. I kept my butt in my office chair for months and months writing the first draft, and then months after that editing and polishing it. I finished a whole book, dammit, and that’s something that so many wanna-be writers never achieve because they give up. And then I pushed myself that last bit further—sending my words out into the world, quite possibly to be rejected and sent home again. But that’s also okay. Because I took that last step into the scary unknown, and tried.

My mum used to say to me, “Just do your best, that’s all anyone can ask of you.” Of course, I constantly ask more of myself. Like many people, I have a horrible little demanding voice inside that says ‘You’re best’s not good enough, you have to be perfect, and more than that—you have to get it right the first time!’ Nasty little imp, that inner voice of mine. About time I trapped her under my thumb and squished her.

I’m learning that art is not meant to be perfect, because it doesn’t spring from perfect people, it comes from within us, and we as humans are inherently flawed. This makes art and creativity, in whatever form we choose to express ourselves, so precious. We’re all different and what I judge not good enough, will touch someone else in ways that I would find amazing.

So I’m quietly confident that I have achieved something this past year. I may not be published, and I may not get published anytime soon, but I’m doing something I love to do. And I’m doing the best I can, Mum, so I hope you’re smiling proudly from heaven. 

Tracey

What I’m reading this week: Hot Zone – Catherine Mann. Loved this book, full of action and a emotionally wounded (but oh-so-hot) Pararescueman.

What I’m watching this week: Chocolat. Starring Johnny Depp and Juliette Binoche melt the screen with their chemistry.

This week’s favorite quote: “If you look for perfection, you'll never be content.” ― Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina.

Hot guy of the week: Johnny Depp. Johnny in Willie Wonka = *shudder*. Johnny in Chocolat? Mmmm, let me spoon him up…